How to Accelerate Your Spiritual Evolution Through the Skillful Use of Remorse (Without Experiencing Guilt)

Can Aaron talk about remorse versus guilt?

Skillful remorse is not obsessive nor does it attack. It comes from a deeply clear and loving place. It doesn't feel guilt so much as sadness. If, for example, you are careless and spill a glass of strong red tea that would stain the  carpet, shame might arise based on a sense of fear, "I'm not good enough. See, I always blunder." It's very self-critical, and it's also very centered in ego and need to please, need to be loved.

For a different being spilling that same tea, the being might immediately reflect, "I was not present in my body. I wasn't mindful. This stain is going to remind me forever of that lack of mindfulness." It feels a sense of sadness that it has, in a certain way, offered this distortion out into the world. At the same time, it also recognizes how this  stain is going to be a teacher to itself and perhaps all beings. It doesn't criticize itself so much as it makes the affirmation to itself, in the future to remember this stain and take it as a teacher for increased mindfulness and presence in its body. There's no guilt or self-criticism. There's no fear, "Others will blame me. Others will be angry. Others won't love me." There's no fear, "I am unworthy." It's a very useful tension, which helps to remind you to do the work that you need to do. Each time you come into the room, you bow to that little stain on the carpet, which, along the way, you have washed as clean as is possible.